The Concept of Whole Love to Formulate Wholesome Interpersonal Relationships
The word ‘Whole’ as an adjective describes the quality of being healthy, sound, auspicious, not broken, not defective, entire, undivided, complete, containing or constituting the entire amount, or having all of its natural elements. The word ‘Whole’ is also used as a noun to describe a thing or entity that is complete in itself and which lacks none of its parts.
THE DISCOVERY OF WHOLE LOVE IS AS SIGNIFICANT AS THE DISCOVERY OF AMERICA ON OCTOBER 12, 1492 BY CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS (1451-1506) . THE LAND HE DISCOVERED WAS NOT INDIA AND THE PEOPLE HE FOUND ARE NOT INDIANS. YOU CANNOT FIND LOVE IN LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU GET ATTACHED. ON WEDNESDAY, JULY 30, 2014, I PROCLAIMED THAT I DESERVE THE RECOGNITION FOR DISCOVERING THE MEANING OF WHOLE LOVE.
Christopher Columbus (1451-1506) discovered America on October 12, 1492 for he was determined to reach India by sailing West. He indeed discovered the New World but failed to discover Love or the meaning of Love. The Land that Columbus discovered was not India and he mistakenly identified its people as Indians. The Discovery of America by Columbus resulted in the introduction of sexually transmitted infection called Syphilis from the New World to the Old World. That is the reason I choose to compare my Discovery with the historical Discovery of America. My discovery is not about the New World, or the Old World. My discovery will be known as the Whole Discovery, the discovery of all the dimensions of Love, a discovery with a potential to transform the Whole World.
Whole Dude – Whole Discovery:
On Wednesday, July 30, 2014, I discovered the meaning of Whole Love. I am the ‘Creme’ just like the Creme of a Sandwich Creme Cookie and my original human nature reflects the sweetness of God’s Love. I discovered the three fundamental dimensions of Love, which must come together to give the experience of Whole Love.
Love is about relationships and it is central to the man’s connection with God, and the man’s relation to other persons apart from man’s relationship with his own self.
The White House Announces, “Columbus is Coming Back.” – The Rediscovery of America
On Columbus Day, I ask Americans to begin a new holiday tradition in celebration of Love
Columbus Day is a legal holiday in the US commemorating the discovery of America by Christopher Columbus on October 12, 1492. The holiday is observed on the second Monday in October.
On August 3, 1492, Christopher Columbus set sail from Palos, Spain, with three small ships, the Santa Maria, the Pinta and the Nina. On October 12, the expedition reached land, probably Watling Island in the Bahamas. Later that month, Columbus sighted Cuba, which he thought was mainland China, and in December the expedition landed on Hispaniola, which Columbus thought might be Japan. He established a small colony there with 39 of his men. The explorer returned to Spain with gold, spices, and “Indian” captives in March 1493 and was received with the highest honors by the Spanish court. He was the first European to explore the Americas since the Vikings set up colonies in Greenland and Newfoundland in the 10th century.
During his lifetime, Columbus led a total of four expeditions to the “New World,” exploring various Caribbean islands, the Gulf of Mexico, and the South and Central American mainlands, but he never accomplished his original goal—a western ocean route to the great cities of Asia. Columbus died in Spain in 1506 without realizing the great scope of what he did achieve: He had discovered for Europe the New World, whose riches over the next century would help make Spain the wealthiest and most powerful nation on earth.
Columbus was honored with a U.S. federal holiday in 1937. The second Monday in October is celebrated as Columbus Day.
The word Love does not appear in the Torah (Law) given to the Jews at Mount Sinai. I conducted a study of the holiday traditions of the US and I am totally surprised to note that there is no traditional celebration of the Proclamation of the two Great Love Commandments of Jesus Christ. Jewish Holiday Shavout celebrates the giving of the Torah (the Law or Instruction) to the Jews. God gave the Ten Commandments (The Decalogue, The Code of The Ten Words) on the sixth night of the Hebrew month of Sivan. Shavuot always falls 50 days (Pentecost) after the second night of Passover. The 49 days between Passover and Shavuot are known as Omer. While retaining the essence of The Code of The Ten Words, Jesus changes the Operating Principle of the Torah or The Law. Jesus instructs that the Law would be followed by His believers not through the use of force or authority but by simply embracing the equally powerful influence called Love.
I am posting this article to make an open appeal to all the members of the US Congress to pass a decree or law to commence a new tradition in the national life that celebrates the central role of love in developing wholesome human relationships. Love is central to man’s relationship to God and man’s relations with other persons apart from man’s relationship with one’s own self. Love has to be known as “The Medium” that generates the attachment or devotion to another person; this kind of care and concern for a person, or persons in a relationship could be called ‘Whole Love’ if whatever is done for Love occurs beyond Good and Evil.
What is Love?
Love is a powerful emotion felt for another person manifesting itself in deep affection, devotion or sexual desire. If love is viewed as fondness or affection it may include or based in part on sexual attraction which is related to libido (sexual urge or instinct), and lust (a desire to gratify the senses or bodily appetite that seeks unrestrained gratification). Love implies feelings that are attached to relationships or objects and assumes various forms such as sexual love, brotherly love, and love of God. The attachment may be felt for inanimate things as well as people, or ideas, or expressed as an abstraction. There are many different kinds of love; different in object, different in tendency, and different in expression. The problem of the kinds of love is further complicated by the need to differentiate and relate love and desire. The category of love known as sexual love has the tendency to desire possession of the object that is loved. The tendency of desire is acquisitive. Sexual love is a love born of desire, and the drive of desire continues until it is satisfied by possession of the loved object. Physical possession is the basis for the satisfaction of sexual desire, sexual appetite, or sexual hunger, or sexual thirst. The other forms of love do not tend to possess the object loved but seek to benefit the object that is loved. Love is selfish when it acts like hunger, thirst, or appetite which need to be satisfied for the benefit of the person expressing that love. Love is altruistic when it acts for the good or the benefit of the beloved. Conjugal love may include a combination of selfishness and altruism. The ancient languages have three distinct words for the main types of love; Eros, Philia, and Agape in Greek language; Amor, Amicita or Dilectio, and Caritas in Latin language. However, English language has no such distinct words and hence it becomes necessary to use such phrases as “sexual love”, “love of friendship”, and “love of charity” in order to indicate plainly that love is common to all three, and to distinguish the three meanings. The idea of love expressed in Biblical Scriptures makes no distinction between Amor, Dilectio, and Caritas.
For example, Matthew, Chapter 22, verses 37, 38, and 39 speak of the Great Commandments of The Laws of Moses: Jesus said unto him, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”
Jesus brings unity between the idea of self-love, love of God, and the love of one another without making distinction between the three different kinds of love. Jesus does not specify if man should wish and expect to be loved in return. Jesus did not attach any purpose to this act of love, and did not describe the nature of desire, the attachment, and the gratification of his Love Commandment.
The Origin of Love:
Sigmund Freud’s theory places the origin of love in the sexual instincts, and so for him the many varieties of love are simply the forms which love takes as the ‘Libido’ fixes upon various objects. He states, “The nucleus of what we mean by love naturally consists …… in sexual love with sexual union as its aim. We do not separate from this; on the one hand, self-love, and on the other, love for parents and children, friendship and love for humanity in general, and also devotion to concrete objects and to abstract ideas….. All these tendencies are an expression of the same instinctive activities…. They differ from sexual love only because they are diverted from its aim or prevented from reaching it, though they always preserve enough of their original nature to keep their identity recognizable.” If love is the passion of the sexual instinct, temperance is an inadequate restraint. Neither reason nor law is adequate to the task of subduing the nature of the sexual instinct. Sexual instinct is a very powerful biological instinct and it profoundly influences human behavior. Hence it becomes necessary to transform sexual love either by repressing it, or sublimating it, or mixing it with tenderness or kindness. In that context, friendship, charity or compassion, and devotion to God could be stated as transformations of sexual love. Sexual instincts are inhibited or actually repressed in the expression of brotherly love, or feelings of deep affection for children and others where the relationship should not be based upon feelings of sexual attraction.
The Complexity of Love:
Love is a very complex emotional instinct and it is complex as it may not always provide a sense of joy or happiness. There is a fact about love; love frequently turns into its opposite, hate. Sometimes there is love and hate of the same object; sometimes love inspires hate, and love may also cause jealousy, anger, and fear. Love seems to be the primal passion, generating all the others according to the oppositions of pleasure and pain and by relation of cause and effect. The individual’s experience of love is extremely variable and it includes the operation of both positive and negative impulses. The Indian tradition has carefully examined this complex instinctual behavior and has instructed people of the Land of Bharat or India to understand the three major distinctions or categories of love and to apply a sense of restraint, or that of repression to bring love under the purview of morality, the code of Right Conduct or Dharma. The Indian Culture does not provide the linguistic tools to express feelings associated with sexual passion without using temperance. There is no linguistic equivalent in classical Indian languages to profess love. The terms and words that Indians use have specific meaning attached to them.
Love vs Prema:
Love is not a universal term and this idea is not expressed in Indian tradition and classical literature. The word “Love” appears repeatedly in the Bible, in several different editions of Bible. I am not a language expert and I believe that people who had translated Bible have exercised great care to convey the meaning of love. Many editions of Bible have further clarified the meaning of Love in their glossary section or Bible dictionary and define Love as a deep sense of affection, devotion for someone or something and they very carefully exclude sexual desire and sexual passion. In English speaking world, and in English literature, the word Love is used to describe desire, libido, lust, and passion based upon sexual attraction. So, Love is a generic term and it may not always mean brotherly love and goodwill. Indian Culture has erected subtle barriers and has not provided linguistic tools to use the word Love as we like. It separates Love into various categories and sets them apart. The feelings of affection, or fondness that are associated with sexual attraction are specifically known as ‘Kama’ and intense sexual passion or desire is called ‘Moha’. Any intense or passionate desire could be called Kama and to act under its influence could be stated as Moha. My love for God could only be expressed in terms of Bhakti or Devotion, and the desire could be called Preet. The desire called Preeti or Preet is a legitimate desire. It is also called “Ishta.” I am allowed to seek or desire certain things in my life and that desire is subject to the rule of Good Conduct or Dharma. I can express the sentiment of Preet only when, and where such desire is allowed to be stated in a legitimate manner, and is acceptable to tradition and established conventions and social norms. If I entertain thoughts of sexual attraction about my attractive and rich neighbor, I am not allowed to express my feelings as Preet. It can not be called “Ishta.” I can call it Kama or Moha. In the epic poem of Ramayana, when King Ravana of Lanka wanted to marry Princess Sita and attended her Swayamvara ( a traditional function in which the bride selects her partner among the group of invited suitors), the desire was legitimate and he was allowed to feel sexual attraction and it was not Kama. But, when he abducted her while she was lawfully married to Prince Rama, that desire and sexual attraction represents an impulsive action of Moha, and Kama. King Ravana was not entitled to express his Love for Sita if it is formulated by Kama, and intense sexual passion known as lust or Moha. Similarly, a man can express his love or Preet for a woman in a respectful or legitimate manner and to seek a valid relationship. If the relationship is illegal, it can not be called Preet. A father’s love, or mother’s love, or brother’s love is described as “Vasthalya,” a natural sense of affection and fondness which is not related to sexual attraction or desire. The word “Prema” or “Prem” is used to describe the feelings of affection, fondness, friendship (Sneha), kindness (Daya, or Karuna), compassion (Krupa), happiness, joy (Ananda) that have no direct relationship to the satisfaction of sexual desires and passions. The deep sense of affection between husband and wife is often called “Anurag” which indicates an intimate friendship. I can not literally translate the word Love into any of the Indian languages as such expression is not allowed without stating the nature of its contents.
To express the Commandment of Jesus to Love your neighbour as thyself in the Indian languages is not easy. Jesus has not stated that idea in terms of friendship (Sneha), kindness (Daya), or giving happiness (Ananda). The attributes of friendship, kindness, and giving joy or happiness must be specifically described to write the preaching of Jesus to express Love of one another.
However, in the Indian tradition, the deep sense of affection or fondness of God is stated as Bhakti or devotion. Mirabai has expressed such deep sense of affection and I would not call it as her love of Krishna. Jayadeva in his famous description of Lord Krishna’s creative activities in Vrindavan has depicted the intense erotic feelings of the young maidens as a product of their intense devotion to the Lord. I can not use the word Love to describe the sexual passions of the Gopis or the young maidens of Vrindavan.
Self-Love and Narcissism:
My concern is not about Prema or Love. My concern is about self-love, a man’s love of himself. In psychology the word ‘Narcissism’ is used to describe excessive self-love. In my experience, I have not encountered such narcissistic tendencies among people of Indian origin. The Indian tradition has erected barriers and would not easily let us identify ourselves with the physical-self. Indian tradition repeatedly instructs us about our Essence and true Identity and reminds us not to get attached to the physical-self. If I have no feelings of attachment to my physical-self, I can not really love myself. If I can not truly love myself, I can not also love my neighbor in the same manner, or to the same degree or extent of my self-love. If man is not expected to love himself, the issue of loving the neighbor is redundant. In my analysis, Self-Love is an essential attribute of the concept of Whole Love for man can never avoid the fundamental duty of self-preservation and keep his own existence with self-respect and human dignity.
Whole Creme – Whole Cookie – Whole Discovery – Whole Foods:
At Whole Foods Market, Ann Arbor, Michigan, Whole Dude has formally announced his Whole Discovery, the discovery of the experience called Whole Love. Love is an emotional experience and it is both a Subjective, and an Objective experience. Love is a personal experience and the experience can be objectively verified. The mental experience called Love demands a Subject who may experience the feelings termed as Love and at the same time, Love demands an Object that may experience those feelings described as Love. Love is always manifested as a connection, a relationship, as an attachment, a bonding, or a cementing feeling that brings together the persons involved in the attraction called Love. Hence, there are three fundamental aspects of the experience called Love. These are, 1. The Subject who experiences Love by expressing Love of another person which is identified as the Object loved, and 2. Experiencing Love for being the Object of another person’s Love, and 3. To have the experience called Whole Love each person needs to be both the Subject who is Loving, and also be the Object that is Loved.
It may be very easy to claim that Love is a mutually shared experience and state that the partners in a Love relationship experience Love for one another to the same extent. When you examine the reality of the present day world, very few people may truly claim that they have discovered Love. To be the Subject who is Loving and simultaneously be the Object that is Loved on a reciprocal basis is not happening as frequently as people would expect to find. There is a gap or a ‘Mismatch’ between the feelings expressed and the feelings returned. Many relationships are simply ending when they find this gap or Mismatch a bit overwhelming. For Love involves mental attachments, a person in Love needs the experience of an emotional attachment from the person that he truly loves and get the feeling that he is the most loved person when that person feels attached to him through expression of the sentiments of love. To explain the three aspects of Whole Love, I invite my readers to taste the 365 Everyday Value Mismatched Sandwich Cremes, exclusively sold at the Whole Foods Market.
On Wednesday, July 30, 2014, I purchased 365 Everyday Value Mismatched Sandwich Cremes to declare that, “I am the Creme of Life. The Vanilla Cookie gives me the feeling that I am the most Loved Person in the World. And the Chocolate Cookie gives me the feeling that I have never, ever experienced for being so much in Love during my entire Life.” For I am the Creme of Life, I can experience all the dimensions of Whole Love at the same time. The Two Cookies, get transformed into a singularity that I call Whole Cookie by getting intimately attached to my Whole Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul, giving me the Full, Total, Complete, and the Whole experience called Whole Love.
God’s Unconditioned Love goes beyond Good and Evil. However, the human interpersonal relationships will not be Wholesome unless they are based upon the pillars of trust, respect, and commitment. In other words, the human love relationships will never last unless the feelings of mutual attraction include the foundational values of trust, respect, and commitment. Whole Love in its essence reflects the three dimensions of Love. These dimensions are, 1. Self-Love, 2. God’s Love and 3. Love of another person.
In the United States, we have no Law, or a cultural tradition to commemorate the event in which Jesus Christ has issued the two great commandments asking people to observe the Law of ‘Whole Love’ which demands, 1. The Love of God with Whole Body, Heart, Mind, and Soul, and 2. The Love of Neighbor as a requirement of God’s Law for man. After my ‘Whole Discovery’, the discovery of the experience of ‘Whole Love’ at Whole Foods Market, Ann Arbor, Michigan on Wednesday, July 30, 2014, I have decided to promote the establishment of a ‘Whole Tradition’ to follow the Spirit of the ‘Whole Law’ to truly observe the Commandment of ‘Whole Love’. To commemorate my ‘Whole Discovery’, I am writing this appeal to ask all the members of the US Congress to approve a new Law to observe the last Wednesday of July as the ‘Whole Love Holiday’. The choice of Wednesday is very appropriate as most other legal holidays are observed on Mondays as a matter of convenience and not for the purposes of obedience to a Divine Law which should be the source and inspiration for the Human Law. The concept of ‘Whole Love’ represents the ‘Whole Law’ that is explicitly pronounced by Jesus Christ as the only Commandment that man must follow and observe in his lifetime. To acknowledge the ‘Whole Law’, to celebrate its pronouncement, we need a new ‘Whole Tradition’ which is reflected by instituting a new ‘Whole Holiday’.
Whole Dude - Whole Spirituality 